Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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