Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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