EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
