no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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