dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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