Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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