I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
