You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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