You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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