big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
