I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
