Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
