And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
