me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
