Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
