I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
two words...techno handjob
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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