Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
