Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
