Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
