I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
