I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
