i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
