Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
