I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
