I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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