No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you had me at cake vodka
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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