he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
