All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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