I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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