Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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