My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
