They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
