is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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