well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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