Old men and throwing up are my life now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
