I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
