I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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