worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
