We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
This is not my ceiling
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
