Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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