happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
