how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Someone signed my nipple.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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