dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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