Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
