He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
