Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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