i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
