I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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