you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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