His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
