we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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