So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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