I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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